Anablogcabin
Sunday, August 31, 2003
Buff'lo
Posted by Analogcabin @ 8:22 AM
Fellers, please don't take my silence for anything other than the fact that I'm in Buffalo right now. It's not the most articulate place on Earth.
But I'm filled with love for you all. More when I get back tomorrow.
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Friday, August 29, 2003
Glory be to the Royal "We"
Posted by Sue @ 11:49 PM
Mr. Sumday. How can I put this delicately... hmm... Let's see. I'll just say it.
I haven't yet seen Iron & Wine.
The show in question (the one in which Analogcabin coerced me into buying tickets) is in late October in Chicago, Illinois. Of course, a full update will be posted following the show.
I did, however, purchase a copy of the Iron & Wine's "The Creek Drank the Cradle." Although I've heard the comparison drawn from numerous sources, I thought this album sounded nothing like Madonna's "American Life." Perhaps I must give it a listen a few more times before such a parallel would present itself.
Anyway, I really like the song "Upward Over the Mountain"... Especially the lyric that reads: "Mother, I've lost it all, the fear of the Lord I was given." It is amazing to me how such a nice Southern boy strayed through his pursuit of the devil's music. But hey, that's drama.
Well, I guess this would be the opportune time to thank Analogcabin and Mr. Saffron for introducing me to "Iron & Wine." Perhaps this common bond might help resolve the tension between you two. I can tell from the internet silence that you two are very, very angry at each other. Wait a second... I recall Mr. Saffron saying something about buying a plane ticket today... Something about LAX to ORD... Kill... Death... Analogcabin.
...Oh, Shit.
Run, Analogcabin.... Run!
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Glory be to He
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 11:26 AM
Praise Allah.
So, Sue, we're all dying to know. Did you go to the show? Iron...Wine...how was it? Give us a full update, a full critique, a full-bodied, steaming, smoking pile of opinion and insight.
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Now, Now, Children.
Posted by Sue @ 11:04 AM
Gentlemen! Enough of this hate-mongering! We're all a bunch of nice Catholic Irish boys here. Let's direct our anger toward those who deserve it.
Damn you! Damn you all to hell, Protties!
(Nobody cares if we rag on the English Protestants... right?)
In other news, go check out CNN.COM. Not sure it'll still be there when you visit, but don't you just love the juxtaposition of the headline: " MTV Awards: Pop, partying, smooching " next to the image of the charred remains of a mosque, which was destroyed by a car bomb in Iraq with the caption: "At least 75 reported dead in Iraq mosque blast."
Very tactful, CNN. Bravo! Very, very tactful.
...Yet we wonder why we are hated so. I think I'll go throw on a Tobey Keith CD and scratch my head in wonder.
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Thursday, August 28, 2003
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 9:36 PM
To quote Billy Sumday's anthem of choice:
"This dog will bite/
If you rattle its cage/
You'll be sorry you messed/
with the U.S. of A/
and Jimmy Saffron."
You know, on second thought, I'm not gonna go there. Really, why pick fights? That would be childish, not to mention unnecessary. I mean, I don't have to tell you that Billy Sumday's post is nonsense, just as I don't have to remind the world that Analogcabin is a Holocaust denier.
And do you know why I don't have to tell the world that Analogcabin thinks Hitler's attempted extermination of the European Jewry was a myth perpetuated by a Zionist conspiracy? Because he already has, repeatedly! Both verbally and in the volumes of self-published tracts he sends out through the postal service, to anyone in the phone book whose name ends in "-man" and "-stein," written in his syphillis-tainted blood and sealed with his hate-seed.
This is all common knowledge by now. That's why I'm gonna take the high road.
So there. Fuckface.
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30 Dollar Bills, Y'All
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 6:59 PM
So glad to hear that Trent Harris came through for you, Billy.
Some quick responses to your queries: $30 seems like a lot, but I bet he could get more from somebody else. You should indeed be flattered. He could hold out on selling the video in question, and wait for another interested party (like a film society or scholar) that he might be able to squeeze for a bit more.
And I'm assuming that postage is included in this cost, so it seems reasonable when you subtract $6 or whatever it will cost to send it to you properly. It's what you would pay for a lot of commercial DVDs and videos.
Oh, yeah: "The rarely-recently-bathed Shakti Mann?" In the words of Homer J. Simpson, "I'm not really a bath man....more of a cologne man."
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Purest pigment
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 6:05 PM
To you, Jimmy Saffron, let me say this: your reign of terror is coming to a close.
And to you, analogcabin, let me take this opportunity to commend your honor, your bravery, and your undying conviction to the truth. I think we all agree that you are a brave man for what you've said. And now that you've said it, I have a feeling we're going to hear a few more horror stories before this whole situation finally gets resolved. Most likely, I believe any sort of closure will involve some sort of UN resolution.
Although I've never been privy to such slander that cabin describes and that Saffron has repeatedly been accussed of so unabashedly spewing, I have experienced my fair share of uncomfortable moments with our "friend" Jimmy. Like, for instance, the time we travelled through Africa. Or when we went to get our dreads done. Or even when we toured the Karl Kani textile plant. These were not fun excursions with Mr. Saffron.
Little does Jimmy know that he himself is a icosadroon (one-twentieth part tainted blood), as a little research in the online files of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints so effortlessly proves.
Jimmy, you cannot defend yourself. Ignorance is not a point of view. It's a sickness.
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Beaver Dilemma
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 5:47 PM
Typically, I can't image using the words "beaver" and "dilemma" in the same sentence, let alone next to each other. I've found that more often than not, it's a pretty easy decision. But now I've got a real pickle on my hands. Thanks to the advice of the always kind and rarely-recently-bathed Shakti Mann, I've contacted the filmmaker Trent Harris and, unexpectedly, he's responded.
Hi Craig,
I have a few festival screening copies left....basically they were used to enter film festivals and are not to end up in video stores or for rental...if you want one send a check for $30 to
TRENT HARRIS
(address follows)
Thanks and warmest regards,
Trent
I have some questions here. First, is this too much to pay? Perhaps part of the cost includes shipping, but really, I think he's quite aware that I can't exactly haggle with him. He knows well enough that I want a copy and can't find one anywhere, and like a good neighbor, he's gonna stick it to me.
Second, should I be flattered that I have the ability to get a copy at all? Depending on how many film festivals he entered, there could quite possibly be very few.
Penultimately, how much do you think I could sell a copy for on Ebay?
And lastly, now that I know his address, should I vandalize his house?
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Saffron: Enemy of God
Posted by Analogcabin @ 5:24 PM
Not only will I single out Saffron for frivolity, I will out him as the unrepentant racist he is.
That's right, Saffron, I can hold my tongue no longer.
It was three years ago, America, when I first discovered Saffron's objectionable leanings. Upon seeing a man, down on his luck and in the street asking for a "hand up," I, like any man with a soul and feelings, reached for my wallet. As I don't see skin color, I didn't realize the gentleman was African American until Jimmy said, "You're not going to give money to Sambo here, are you?"
Obviously, I was taken aback. "Excuse me?"
"Mr. Bojangles. You're not going to give him money without making him sing and dance for it, are you?"
I couldn't believe my ears. Mustering the restraint God gave me, I said, "I find your words and attitudes offense. This man ain't heavy, Jimmy, he's my brother."
"Give it a rest. This tarbaby should just get off his ass and get a job like the rest of us."
By this time, I was filled with the rage of the righteous. "There but for the Grace of God, Jimmy! There but for God!"
As if in response, Jimmy uncapped the canister of kerosene he'd been carrying and emptied it on the man. Then, before I could react, he lit an Ohio Blue Tip match off of the Nazi dagger he was fond of wearing on his belt in those days and set the man aflame.
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Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 4:42 PM
Oh, sure. Single out Saffron for being frivolous. You, who are the enemy of substance, the scourge of sincerety, the champion of all things trivial on this site. You, who would swallow your own tongue before attempting anything that wasn't caked in your crusty sarcastic bloom.
Fuckface.
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Thank You All, For There Is Love
Posted by Analogcabin @ 9:12 AM
As the Alemana might say, fantastiche. So much energy, gumption, and occasionally, insight. I knew there was a reason I invited you all on here. Though my hubris tells me otherwise, perhaps no one noticed I was gone.
I, too, would like to hear more about that Australian assassination attempt, if only so that I can perfect the technique and use it as the instrument of Sumday's demise. I'll insert the materiel into his oaken buttplug on a Friday afternoon. He'll be dead in the Castro streets by Saturday morning, roasted by his own petard, as it were.
The Rev. Jesse doesn't say much, but when he does, he makes it count. That should be a lesson to us all, Saffron.
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Bubb Rubb
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 1:29 AM
There is a phenomena, on the streets of Oakland, in the neighborhood where I work, of affixing whistles to the insides of tailpipes. Sound annoying? It certainly is. But, as Bubb Rubb says, it sure does help you wake up in the morning, when, you know, anyway, you're supposed to be cooking breakfast and getting up.
To fully experience the Rubb, click on "the official newscast" link.
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Fair and Balanced
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 1:12 AM
I'll have Jimmy know that a recent CNN/NBC/Gallup/ESPN online poll found that 78% of Americans think that the internet is more accurate than the encyclopedia, God, and PBS.
Now that's a statistic I wouldn't want to be arguing with.
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Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 8:24 PM
I think it's funny that Billy, in demanding attribution from the Reverend, asks to be directed to a website. Not a book. Not a newspaper. But a website.
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Newsworthy?
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 7:56 PM
Car accidents. Hurricanes. Celebrity deaths. I understand why these things are covered in the news, and yet I can't help thinking, are they really newsworthy? Car accidents happen every day. And with hurricanes, the story is always the same. A town is ravaged, people died, families mourn, survivors survive. And celebrity deaths? Besides giving the green light to some marketing department for a reissue or a retrospective or a commerative something-or-other, how does this information really impact my life, so much that it deserves to be in the news?
That said, isn't this kind of thing considered old hat by now? Considering where it happened?
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The sweetness of life
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 7:35 PM
An interesting story, Rev, but I'd like to see some proof. Not that I don't believe you, of course. As a matter of fact, I respect all men of the cloth, even and perhaps especially the pedophiles and lechers. It's just that I would be very pleased if you knew of any webpages that could shed some more light on this account.
You know, I wonder if Ashcroft knows about this story. I also wonder what he would consider the proper steps to ensure that similar events never occur on American soil. For some reason, I have a hunch it would involve keeping the brown people of the world in jail and/or out of the country. And you know what? I would respect that.
In a similar vein, my friend used to teach a seventh-grade English class and recently shared with me a poem written by one of her students. This poem touched me, and deeply. I'd like to now share this poem, entitled Ode to My Cat, with the faithful readers of analogcabin. And in this community of support and encouragement, I hope to find that there are those who share my opinion that this simple work proves, without doubt, that poetry is not dead. If anything, of all forms of art and expression, it most perfectly captures and transcends the human condition.
Ode to my cat
Who I love and
Like to play with.
When I found you on
The street near my
Aunts house I felt so bad
For you.
You were so skinny and hungry
You had to have seconds.
When I brought you home
It was just like yesterday,
Because you've grown so fast.
Now everyday
I see you play with a different
Boyfriend.
I am so happy I found a little
Princess like you
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More Mysteries from Down Under
Posted by The Reverend Harlow Jesse Carpenter @ 9:41 AM
In October 1966, an obscure assassination attempt was made on U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson while he was visiting Melbourne, Australia. Anti-Vietnam protesters obtained a highly radioactive piece of metal and in the wee hours of the morning before LBJ's visit, placed it inside a utility pole along the scheduled motorcade route. Minutes later, an innocent motorist crashed while driving by the pole. That motorist, along with two EMTs who were the first to arrive on the scene, were killed from lethal doses of radiation. The plot unraveled from there.
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A Little Somethin'-Somethin' for Billy...
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 1:41 AM
William, I did some snooping in regards to your "Beaver" issue.
Ebay and Amazon don't have the answers? Why not go to the source, young man? (Note the contact at the bottom of the linked page.)
Do let us know if you hear anything from Mr. Harris.
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Monday, August 25, 2003
MIA
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 7:21 PM
Times sure have changed from the 60's, that's for sure. Unlike those rompous, sexy times, nowadays people try to find you if you're the prime minister of a large, wealthy, democratic country, and you suddenly vanish while in office.
Apparently, that wasn't the M.O. in Australia when Harold Holt went missing.
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Your Mother Sews Socks in Hell
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 2:29 PM
Another intelligent move from the suits who brought you "Young Guns 2" and "Juwanna Mann"....
SCHRADER FIRED FROM 'EXORCIST IV'
Writer-director Paul Schrader (Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, Auto Focus) has been fired from Exorcist IV: The Beginning after turning in a completed film, when producers concluded that the film did not contain enough violence, the New York Post's "Page Six" column reported today (Monday). Producers Morgan Creek "wanted more gore," a source told the column, "They think that will sell. There were huge fights between Paul, who is more artistic, and the company, and earlier this week Paul was fired. They are planning on hiring a new director to reshoot some scenes." [from the Internet Movie Database, 8/25/03]
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Beaver Fever
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 1:51 PM
I would very much like to see The Beaver Trilogy. Less a midnight romp through a steamy sororititty house than a fly documentary about truth, fame, and Olivia Newton-John impersonations, the Beaver Trilogy has me g-d intrigued. But alas, I can't seem to find it anywhere. Ebay is no help. Amazon don't know.
What's this internet thing good for if I can't find obscure videos to watch by my lonesome under the glow of flickering fields? Where does a lost, wandering boy go?
I was hoping some of you fellers here might know.
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Saturday, August 23, 2003
With Open Arms...
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 8:43 PM
I'd like to be the first to compliment our host on his additions to the "Staff" section. Very nice work, Cabin.
I compliment him because we all know how he gets when we don't notice these sort of things...
And I'd also like to welcome Billy, in all his audacious, impetuous glory.
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Yes, Dad
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 11:24 AM
You guys just can't see the forest from the trees. Absorbed so completely in your own tastes, then obliged to defend them, nay, force them upon others when you feel the heat turned up a notch. But wait, was the heat turned up at all? Hell, I don't think the heat was even on. In fact, I think feel a little freon flowing over my feet. Everything is cool, dude. Nothing is fucked. Nothing is fucked, dude.
As a matter of fact, I also agree that Iron and Wine's album is the best of the year. No question. I also believe that many great shows are of the slowcore variety. I also believe, though, that often these shows are better with a previous knowledge of the music. In contrast, bands like Tenacious D, or The Flaming Lips, or (dare I say it) The White Stripes put on unbelievable live shows. Spectacles. Events. No previous knowlegde of the music is necessary. As JB is want to say, these bands are gonna rock your socks off. I would blindly endorse these bands to anyone, at anytime, at any venue. If they came back and said they disliked it, I wouldn't be angry or confused. I'd just never talk to that person again, because clearly he or she is a drooling idiot.
On the other hand, if they came back after seeing an Iron and Wine show and said, "you know, it was pretty good but I kind of wish I knew the songs, because all the graduate students and greater Miami area literati were in the back singing along and sipping their their PBRs and I couldn't really hear him because he mumbled and then there was this couple near the front of the stage and they were having an argument the whole time and I think the guy actually slapped the girl and anyway that was kind of weird", I'd understand and we could work out our differences, albeit slowly.
It's just easier to get distracted at a show like that. Like Jimmy said. You need concentration. It helps to have a previous knowledge of the album. That's all I meant.
Jeesh. So antagonistic this cabin fella is. So jumpy. So...
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Whine
Posted by Analogcabin @ 8:37 AM
First off, I not only endorse purchasing tickets to the Iron and Wine show, I insist you purchase the record. It was, without a doubt, the best record of last year.
Here is where Billy jumps in, extolling Elephant or The Black Keys or something.
You see, Billy is young, wild, and free. He's got the magic power of the bands on MTV(2.) Try as I might, I can't get excited about the White Stripes, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Hives, or any of the other rockin' rockers of this rockin' time and rockin' place. It's because I'm old and out of touch, I have no doubt.
Maybe Billy wants to crush toward the front of the venue, sweat with the ladies, and jump up and down for a furious hour of rock. Maybe he wants to "crowd surf." I did at some point in the distant past, and the Anthrax album The Persistance of Time was involved.
I'd prefer to sit and enjoy. Many of the best shows I've seen were "downbeat." Acetone and Low, summer 1996. Elliott Smith and Tindersticks, fall 1997. Idaho, Duster, and Half Film, fall of 1998. The list goes on and on, leading up to, need I remind you, Billy, Will Oldham, spring of 2003?
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Friday, August 22, 2003
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 5:08 PM
Seems to me that I&W's music is what one might call "slow" and "soft" and "dark". Very beautiful, all of it, to be sure, but also distinctly melancholic. That sort of music doesn't always make the best live shows.
I disagree. I think slow, soft and dark music sounds great live. Ideally suited, even, to the live setting. For me, the only regular problem with those kind of shows is that people insist on talking through them, which, by my measure, is an endemic thing here in LA. Call me biased, but I remember going to see Freedy Johnston play solo in Columbus, and nobody talked during that show (except the guy with the guitar and the microphone, and he was nice enough to keep it between songs). As opposed to seeing Elliott Smith here, which was less a concert than a cocktail party.
Anyway, I endorse going to see I&W. For a primer, listen to him here. He talks about being a cinematography professor.
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The Streak
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 2:29 PM
I like Jonathan Winters. Fiona Apple and Jonathan Winters. I like 'em both.
I think the scene in "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" when Jonathan Winters destroys Arnold Stang's gas station is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life.
My sister recently graduated from illustrious Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio. As it turns out, Winters attended Kenyon for a time. And, apparently, when he was kicked out, he rode naked on his bicycle, up and down Middle Path.
I wonder if that kind of thing is negotiable through Big Speak.
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Vouch
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 1:53 PM
Regarding Iron and Wine's debut album, I am obliged to second cabin's emotion. With song titles like, "The Creek Drank the Cradle", how can you go wrong? It is truly a monumental work.
However, a live show?
I'm not sure I'd blindly and unequivocally endorse such an idea. Seems to me that I&W's music is what one might call "slow" and "soft" and "dark". Very beautiful, all of it, to be sure, but also distinctly melancholic. That sort of music doesn't always make the best live shows. Of course, cabin knows Sue's taste in music much better than I, and this may be something right up his alley. Unfortunately, I don't know Sue well, so I don't know if he likes things up his alley.
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A Rare Treat...
Posted by Sue @ 1:01 PM
This morning, I was given a rare treat by our gracious host, Mr. 'Cabin. Now, it is not often that one sees Analogcabin on AOL Instant Message, and when he is -- and you dare IM him -- he's always saying stuff like "Shit, man. I gotta go" or stealthily turning on his "away" message so as to appear as though he is too busy to waste his time chatting with any of us mere 'net plebians...
However...
This morning, Analogcabin was quite the chatty chitlin. We discussed matters of state, politics... Even the administration of hernia exams. What's more is that the conversation was initiated by Mr. 'Cabin! At first, I was flattered... Honored, if you will, that this enigmatic master of our domain was willing to stoop to my level, if even for a fleeting 10 minutes, to chat with your truly via the modern marvel known as AOL IM.
And then, it happened. I received a resounding endorsement from Mr. Cabin for a band known only to me as "Iron and Wine." For those of us who know this character (which, I assume, is ALL of us), Analogcabin's taste in music is quite refined and opinionated. Through the years, I have never really been led astray by his musical suggestions and, through Analogcabin, I have been introduced to many of my favorite artists. However, today Mr. 'Cabin "kicked it up a notch" (TM Emeril Lagosse). He suggested that I purchase tickets to see this band, "Iron and Wine," sound unheard (is that the appropriate aural translation of "sight unseen"?).
Anyway, I would like to defer the matter to The Committee... Ah, yes... The Committee... Dost thou still existeth?
So, Committee. Is "Iron and Wine" worth it? Or is Analogcabin pulling a sick, twisted joke on me?
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This fine season
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 10:32 AM
Does anyone else like Jonathan Winters? For only $20,000+, he could be your personal entertainment for the evening. I can't help but think that if I were very, very wealthy, and I mean in the money sense, I would often do things like hire Jonathan Winters to eat dinner with me and my friends. It would probably make him very uncomfortable, and I think it should be made clear that we just want to eat our meal and have a good time, so don't try to be showing off, Winters. I wonder how he'd react.
And then when the meal is finished, I'd get up, walk into the kitchen, and return with one of those really huge cardboard checks like in gameshows. I would have it set up that the local newspaper photographer is already there, in the kitchen, ready to take a picture to publish in tomorrow's news. Why don't rich people do stuff like this? Do they?
I guess I really wouldn't know.
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Thursday, August 21, 2003
Fave part
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 5:15 PM
I've got to say, my favorite part of the chainmail webpage is this photo, which makes it so painfully clear that this poor knight is alone in his dungeon, with not a single soul around to assist in the photographing of said "costumes".
I wonder how many times this picture was taken until the framing was correct.
Bless his heart.
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"Not For Actual Combat"
Posted by Analogcabin @ 4:36 PM
My favorite bit to that chainmail link was the disclaimer reminding visitors that the gauge of chain pictured is "not recommended for actual combat." Good to know, as I'd heard that Rumsfeld was considering an investment for our occupation forces to ward against the maces, shillelaghs, cudgels, and halberds favored by the Brown Infidel Hoard.
Another interesting link was brought to my attention by Matt Tobey today. It's Tim Harrod's page dedicated to two very odd recordings, available as MP3's on said page, attributed to JH Productions. They're hilarious and bizarre, if only because of the unique usage of the word "pertaining."
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The Dark Ages
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 4:22 PM
First of all, cabin, it's Billy Sumday, not Sunday. Compare me again to that teetotalling s.o.g. and I'll send you to the moon.
I'd like to address my infatuation with Cupid later this evening, but until then, I'd just like to say that I'm very pleased chainmail hasn't fallen out of favor with most Americans.
Chivalry, jousting, and jesters, on the other hand...well, I think we can safely that those red ferns have grown and wilted long, long ago. (whimper)
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...Was It Likely?
Posted by Analogcabin @ 1:01 PM
I'll admit it. Mr. Sunday is right -- my defense of Ms. Apple is out-of-date. It's late. Then again, so is the capture and prosecution of Andrew Luster. Should timeliness supercede the impetus to right what is wrong? As an American who loves God and country, I say no, and I'll serve a neat knuckle sandwich to any bitch who says otherwise.
As for you, Saffron, I agree that The Chinese Album was wonderful and ahead of its time, insofar as its being so coolly behind its time. The difference is that Spacehog's first album was ignored almost as completely. Few critics or fans spent time sharpening knives for the release of Spacehog's sophomore effort, while legions laid waiting to pounce on When the Pawn.... So, while I agree that it's tragic, The Chinese Album is tragic in a different way. Tragic in a way more akin to Eel's Electro-Shock Blues -- a remarkably strong follow-up to a debut that features one big hit ("Novocaine for the Soul" off of Beautiful Freak for Eels, "In the Meantime" off of Resident Alien.)
And to address the Cupid situation, let me just say that I'm shocked by Mr. Sunday's enthusiasm for the program. As an unapologetic fan of virtually every reality show on air, and as a dedicated watcher of most, I've been unable to engage in Cupid. I watched the season premier, but found it somehow lacking. Perhaps, as the season draws to a close, it has improved. This would be contrary to my suspicion that, due to its similarity in format to American Idol, the first few episodes would be the best and biggest laughs, but I suppose it's possible.
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Sand in Your Eyes
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 12:16 PM
Yeah, your stumping for Fiona Apple is highly suspect. Especially with that title, such a blatant attempt to beat your boy Mark Eitzel at his own game. But you say it's about the music, so I've taken steps to procure a copy. Perhaps I'll be seduced by her throaty siren song. Perhaps not. Either way, your claims of tantamount injustice seem off the mark, in light of the complete and utter indifference that greeted this modern gem upon release.
Then again, I can't be too surprised. Considering your sense of loyalty.
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Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Draw back your bow
Posted by Billy Sumday @ 10:18 PM
I'm new to the site, and I just saw the most amazing mountain.
So have any of you been watching Cupid? I hate to divert the throngs of analogcabin faithful from such a g-d interesting discussion concerning the merits of Fiona Apple's street cred (sooooo... 2001), but this is important. This is epoch-making. Shape-shifting. Earth-moving. Hyphen-accumulating.
Cupid, mis amigos, is the worst reality show ever. And because of that, it's the best ever.
Why? Well, for starters, it's based on the premise that if America were given the chance, they would help a complete stranger pick the perfect mate for life. What the producers failed to realize, of course, is that this is America and, if possible and if given the chance, we will choose to make the fame-mongers and publicity-whores of today suffer for their confidence in us. We will make them pay. If you allow us to choose a mate for you, we will pick the worst possible one. The one that appears as though even if he loses, he will stalk you for the rest of your life. This is what you get for attempting to be a celebrity. You get pain.
This is what makes Cupid amazingly delightful to watch.
If you're not familiar with the show, let me summarize. Lisa, a fame-whore from Detroit, is 25 and single. She wants a hubby, and in a bad way. An almost...embarrassing way. So in Chicago, NY, Miami, and La, men were invited to try out and win her heart. It is modeled after American Idol, which, like I have said before, is the worst and best concept ever conceived. Because after Lisa narrowed down the field of suitors to ten, America got its shot, just like in AI. But instead of picking the best singer, they are asked to pick the best husband for beautiful, well-off, annoying, needy, stuck-up, and utterly despicable Lisa. So, as could have been easily predicted, we the voters, WE, well, we're choosing the worst possible mate for Lisa. Lisa, we're gonna make you pay.
In particular, America seems to be smitten with Robert, an Arnold Schwarzenneger look and sound-alike that is probably the creepiest guy this side of Marky Mark in Fear. Why Lisa kept him around, I don't know. Nobody knows. Every time you see the two of them together on the show, it is more than clear that she hates him. During this past week's episode, she actually pleaded, no, begged the American people to vote him off. But people seem to be having a good time voting for him and it doesn't look like America's letting off the pedal. If anything, Robert's cause is picking up steam. My hope is that this show implodes and everyone involved begins hating themselves, the entire production, everyone else on the show, their own parents, puppies, and poor people. But that would be just way too good TV, and I shouldn't wish for things that I desperately want to come true.
I've written too much, and it's my first ever post. Shot my wad. Burst my bubble. Whistled to Dixie. Wore out my welcome.
All I can ask is I hope you'll have me back.
And I hope you'll start watching Cupid.
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Some housekeeping, as well.
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 7:07 PM
Oh, yeah.
I am aware that I've been out of the loop on many conversations occuring herein. So we all know where I stand and there are no misunderstandings...
Yes, Jimmy, I too have experienced my fair share of misplaced anger and aggression in the work place....but I also think that you have a drinking problem.
And, yes, Analogcabin, they do refer to the Times as the "Gray Lady." See .
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Dirty Old Egg-Sucking Dog
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 6:53 PM
I like Fiona Apple.
But, until recently, I considered her a guilty pleasure. And then something happened: Ms. Apple made an appearance on Johnny Cash's latest record, doing a cover of a "Bridge Over Troubled Water" with the country legend. (Give it a listen.)
The way I figure it, Jon Brion might be capable of a mistake from time to time. But the Man in Black? No way, Jose.
If Fiona Apple gets Johnny Cash's thumbs-up, that should tell us all something.
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Don't Touch My Apple
Posted by Analogcabin @ 4:59 PM
I hate to horn in on all the furious posting happening here at the 'Cabin, but I feel compelled to instigate a discussion on one of the most divisive topics of our times. Fiona Apple.
Today I'm listening to her sophomore effort, "When the Pawn... [blah, blah, blah.]" I submit to you, my cohorts, and to you, the unthinking, unblinking eye of the Internet, that it's one of the most unfairly overlooked records of, say, the last 10 years.
That's right. I said it. The last 10 years. Suck it, Saffron, 'cause I know this'll whip you up into a northern Indiana Jew fury.
I'm not saying that there haven't been better records released since 1993 that were overlooked by the hoi polloi and press. There most certainly are. I'm saying that this record was unfairly overlooked, due to both Ms. Apple's youthful stupidity in public following the moderate success of her debut and to the overwhelmingly pretentious record title. But given a chance, it's a remarkable record that's strong throughout and benefits immensely from Jon Brion's production. I'll admit, it has some cringe-worthy lyrics ("Put away that meat you're selling" comes to mind,) but the songwriting is a giant leap forward from her juvenile if promising debut.
So there. I've put it on the line. I love Fiona Apple, and I'll defend her to all comers.
Saffron? Shakti? Sue? Who wants some?
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Bad Things Happen to Bad People
Posted by Analogcabin @ 9:13 AM
The head Jews at ABC, in cohoots with fellow cabal members at ABC Family, have announced that they've cancelled both of Roseanne Barr's new shows -- Domestic Goddess, the yet-to-air cooking show, and The Real Roseanne Show, a reality show chronicling the production of Domestic Goddess. The cancellations are, apparently, the result of a hysterectomy Roseanne will undergo this week.
When asked for his thoughts on the situation, Hollywood spokesjew Jimmy Saffron said, "Women barely function in showbiz, as it is. Women without a uterus... well, there's just no place for them in Hollywood."
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Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Margin of Error
Posted by Analogcabin @ 2:21 PM
They were only off by $3.996 trillion. Let's cut some slack for the gray lady.
Isn't that what they call the Times? The gray lady?
Grey lady?
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Social Security, we never knew thee.
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 11:12 AM
How's that for a correction?
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Monday, August 18, 2003
Unmitigated Outrage
Posted by Analogcabin @ 4:31 PM
As though America needed proof that we at Analogcabin are hugely influential, check out this blatent rip off.
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You Have a Drinking Problem
Posted by Analogcabin @ 12:27 PM
I think it's time we get to the heart of the matter, Jimmy. If no one else is going to say it, I will. It's not an anger problem, it's a drinking problem.
I couldn't help but notice the time stamp of your post -- 1:17 am. Telling.
I've been subjected to your wild, rye-fueled mood swings countless times over the years of our so-called "friendship." You get to the bar at 2 or 3 pm, drink heavily until around 8, at which point you become wildly self-assured and lecherous. Any women so unlucky as to cross your path between 8 and 9:20 will find themselves the subject of your whiskey-scented and over-rough ministrations. By 9:30 you're either up against a back alley dumpster rogering some floozy or feeding dollars into a jukebox and scrolling the selections back and forth in a futile attempt to find Gordon Lightfoot's "Sundown." By 10, you've settled for Looking Glass' "Brandy," Climax's "Precious and Few," or Player's "Baby Come Back." Finishing yourself off around 11 with "She's Gone" by Hall and Oates and a double Gibson with extra onions, you leave the bar to wander the darkened streets muttering lines from "Blow Out" and "Casualties of War." You break into your own apartment after midnight, and log on to the internet about 1.
And that's when you're unemployed. I think we've all heard the workplace stories. The bladders filled with Jim Beam you duct tape to your belly, the pants-wetting. Oh, the pants-wetting.
If you're looking for sympathy, Saffron, you've come to the wrong place. Perhaps you'd better heed the cautionary tale that is Guns and Roses' "Mr. Brownstone."
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Saturday, August 16, 2003
So much anger
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 1:17 AM
A couple of months ago, I quit a job. Or I was fired. You could say either one. Point is, I left the job on really bad terms, and just before I left, my employer and I "discussed" the reasons why my work was less than satisfactory, most of which I think he was making up on the spot. We had just had a short verbal altercation, and instead of just apologizing, or simply asking me to leave, he chose to try and "explain" himself. Well, actually, he didn't choose. I, not yet recognizing that my work there had ended, not yet fully realizing what an irredeemable prick this guy was, asked him to explain what I was doing wrong, not knowing that once I put him in that position, he would feel free to abandon reality as a source for his misgivings. I've had friends tell me of similar experiences, of being fired and having to stand there while the bossman, in a kind of passive-aggressive, revisionist meltdown, pulled reasons out of thin air why they didn't belong in that job. Anyway, one of this guy's complaints was that I am "clearly a very angry, frustrated person" and that I bring all that frustration and anger to work with me, and then misdirect it. His littany continued, but I can't really recall what the rest of his reasons were. I must have felt confident enough to categorically dismiss them. But that one, the "anger" comment, stuck with me. Still does. I'm not entirely clear why, but of course I have ideas.
The first is that he was right. When I think about it, I am an angry person. Not disagreeably angry. Not dangerous. Not threatening. Not mad, lashing-out, lock-your-doors-I-know-where-the-fuck-you-live angry. But, yeah, angry. Frustrated. Not getting what I want in life and having some difficulty coping. Sure. And, yes, admittedly, there had been moments on that job when I'd let fly with some frustration. However, most of those were prompted not by outside conflicts, by the job itself-- like when I was on the line with Verizon for three hours, or when he, the bossman, badgered me non-stop for reasons why I didn't like George W. Bush, or when his annoying benzengi dog bit into the end of my tie and pulled me face first into my keyboard.
But admissions of anger on my part always lead me to think: who isn't angry in that same way. More specifically, who doesn't get frustrated on the job? Maybe that's why I can't get his comment out of my head-- because it was so hypocritical, so black-and-white and myopic.
Now, my latest job is in television production, so maybe this doesn't go on everywhere. But here, at least, where crews are like families and personalities are allowed a little more free reign, it seems that misdirected anger is just par for the course. I see it here everyday. I'll go so far as to say that, right or wrong, warranted or not, it's part of the fabric of this job.
I guess this is on my mind because I started a new job a month ago, and just this week noticed this some of those same "frustrated" moments coming out, which feeds my concern that feelings like that are simply inevitable for me. This post is sounding a little trite, sort of an "am I normal?" call for commiseration, but seriously, folks. Have any of you experienced a workplace that wasn't bristling on all sides with people's personal frustrations?
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Friday, August 15, 2003
Sorry I caused all the cancer
Posted by Barry @ 12:29 PM
sorry guys and gals (do we have any gals on here???). I've been getting stuff ready for Burning Man.
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Thursday, August 14, 2003
Bring It...
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 8:52 PM
If I were any kind of a man, I'd reply to our host's message with the likes of "Mister, your ego's writing checks your body can't cash" or "Keep that shit up and it's going to rain pain and hail hurt."
But, alas, I am far from a man.
So instead I will reply with sobs of "It was all Sue and Barry and Jimmy and J. Wm. Hall and the Spencer2000!! I tried to stimulate conversation with the Schwarzeneggar prank call, but they wouldn't reply!! Oh, Jesus! Sweet Jesus! Don't kill me! I did all I could, I swear to God!!....[unintelligible whimpering]..."
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I Turn My Back For a Minute, and This.
Posted by Analogcabin @ 6:34 PM
Really, gentleman. I'm out of town and away from the computer for less than a week and all you can muster in my absence is a single one-line post? This is an outrage.
When I get back, New York's not going to be the only thing blacked-out. That's right! I'm talking about your eyes!
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Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Beef Jerky
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 11:35 AM
Seemed like as good a time as any to revisit this.
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Monday, August 11, 2003
While We're At It...
Posted by Sue @ 11:07 AM
Rumour also has it that Maria Conchita Alonso is running against Erland van Lidth (Amber Mendez and Dynamo, respectively, from "The Running Man.") in the CA election. In a viscious attack on her opponent's contention that the State's power crisis was something "we can all laugh about, now," Alonso replied: "There's nothing funny about a dick-less moron with a battery up his ass."
In other news, Mr. Schwarzeneggar reveled in his preliminary victory over Professor Toru Tanaka, who played the character "Subzero" in the motion picture "The Running Man." Upon obtaining 1200% more signatures than Professor Tanaka, Mr. Schwarzeneggar tore up a photo of the downed professor and shouted to a group of press attendees: "Here lies Subzero... now, plain zero!"
Man, this election really is turning out to be a carnival.
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Justice Department, Entertainment Division
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 10:52 AM
I hope Coop noticed something else I failed to mention: Arnie and Governor Ventura also starred together in "The Running Man." You will, of course, remember Jesse the Mind's performance as Captain Freedom?
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Behold: My Scrotum!
Posted by Analogcabin @ 9:07 AM
Regardless of how inaccurate this post's title is, rest assured that the post itself is a much-delayed and probably altogether too late reponse to Mr. Mann's "Predator and Politics" post of last week (I'd permalink here, if only I had the technology.)
CNN's own former host of "The Mole," Anderson Cooper, picked up on Shakti's gubernatorial Predator connection, as well. And, though I don't mean to compare our beloved Buddhist brother to Mr. Cooper, Anderson was able to dig deeper and go further. Apparently Sonny Landham, Billy in "Predator," failed in his 2002 run for Kentucky governor.
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Sunday, August 10, 2003
Quote en Quote: A New Beginning
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 12:05 PM
"This stuff will make you a goddamned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me!"
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Thursday, August 07, 2003
Quote En Quote, Fin
Posted by Sue @ 7:47 PM
"It is not a tumor!"
--Arnold Schwarzeneggar, on the large head-shaped mass of flesh which rests between his shoulders.
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Quote En Quote, 2
Posted by Analogcabin @ 3:12 PM
"I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine!"
-- Arnold Schwartzeneggar, on negotiations between California's hard hit airline workers' unions and UAL.
"Uplinks on the ground. Uplinks underground. You guys don't shut up, I'm going to uplink your ass... you'll be on the ground!"
-- Arnold Schwartzeneggar, on the future of Silicon Valley's struggling economic base.
"You got what you wanted, you must give those people air!"
-- Arnold Schwartzeneggar, on emission standards and the Clean Air Act.
"We are going to play a fun game. It's called, "who is your daddy, and what does he do?"
-- Arnold Schwartzeneggar, on privacy issues surrounding the interrogation of suspects held under the Patriot Act.
"The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug."
-- Arnold Schwartzeneggar, on events leading up to California's current budget crisis.
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!"
-- Arnold Schwartzeneggar, on how to conduct a successful gubernatorial campaign.
"Stop whining! You kids are soft! You lack discipline! Well, I've got news for you, you belong to me now!"
-- Arnold Schwartzeneggar, to the California Legislature.
"You're a funny man, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last."
-- Arnold Schwartzeneggar, to his opponent in the gubernatorial race, Gary Coleman.
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Quote En Quote
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 2:05 PM
"If it bleeds, we can kill it."
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger, on the California budget crisis
"Come with me if you want to live."
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger, on the critical issues facing California's public school system
"Get your ass to Mars."
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger, on allegations of price-gauging by California power companies
"Knock, knock."
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger, on the need for bipartisan cooperation in the state legislature.
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Wednesday, August 06, 2003
The Running Man
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 8:53 PM
So, Arnie's running. God help us. That means history could record at least two stars of "Predator" as governors. Governor Carl Weathers, anyone?
And to add insult to injury....
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Calling all Plagues
Posted by Analogcabin @ 3:47 PM
I try to avoid interblogging, but I couldn't resist since it's further proof of my position as God's Man on the Ground.
To quote me, "I said western Nevada, not Inner Mongolia! Jesus!"
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The Pope of Chili Town
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 2:48 PM
Regarding this whole Burning Man thing, I can only quote Police Chief Clancey Wiggum: "I say if it feels good, do it!"
That said, I still think the whole thing has a Society for Creative Anachronism kind of vibe happening. So I can understand the feelings of our fearless leader, Yahweh's middle-man.
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I dunno, man.
Posted by Sue @ 12:59 PM
Just as the old "gay" adage says "Everyone's gay... They just don't know it yet," so too does the mantra of the uninitiated Burning Man Attendee: "Everyone loves Burning Man... They just don't know it until they've tried."
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And Of "Stereotyping"....
Posted by Analogcabin @ 9:22 AM
To use an incredibly unfair rhetorical device to defend my feelings about Burning Man, each individual may not be the type of person I described, but there are individual consequences of participating in an event that is inherently neo-hippie. Was each of the 80,000,000 German citizens during the Third Reich an fascist antisemite? Maybe this is a question for Heidegger.
Regardless, Barry, that point is moot because I'll have you know that I have it on good authority that every one of last year's 29,085 Burning Man participants was exactly the kind of person I earlier described. I don't stereotype. I channel the Divine.
For I am the Mouthpiece of the One True God, and God thinks Burning Man is Silly.
Seriously, I curious to know everyone's feelings on the Burning Man issue.
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Tuesday, August 05, 2003
Tsk... tsk... stereotyping again???
Posted by Barry @ 5:03 PM
re: Burning Man.
Analogcabin would have us believe that all 30,000+ attendees to Burning Man are of one like-minded neo-hippie ilk. While I have absolutely no doubt that there are many of the sort he'd like to torch who I will be co-habitating with, I know many others (who will be attending) who wouldn't really be considered Burning Man folk upon first or second or however many successive glances.
Why go now?? I've been invited several years in a row to go with my friend Zach -- who I love dearly and who is nearly a brother to me after I lived at his Dad's house for the whole of last year. I figured if I didn't get to Burning Man this year, I probably never would. Couldn't have that hanging over my head for the rest of my life now, could I?
Go to the Burning Man site
See the pictures
(especially the aerial shots)
Check out the many theme camps
that will be set up and then tell me you're not just a little curious to see all this stuff in person.
By the way... guess who's got a "first date" this week? Boo- YAH!
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Belated Caption
Posted by Analogcabin @ 1:51 PM
"The country was rocked by a tragic fabric mishap today, when the jacket was rubber and the Batman suit was flannel."
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"Bid Me...Velcome."
Posted by Shakti Mann @ 12:49 PM
'Sup, y'all. I'm new to the Anal-Log-Cabin Blog. Is there a hazing process I should be made aware of?
I like the new "Staff" section--particularly Spencer2000's profile.
Returned recently from cheering a friend on at the 2003 Danskin Women's Triathlon http://www.danskin.com/triathlon/index.html. Inspiring to say the least. Wisenheimers, such as myself, were left quip-less. Among the participants were over 200 cancer survivors and a woman 89-years-young. Suffice it to say I'm feeling more and more self-conscious about laying here in front of this computer...
I'll write more when that feeling wears off.
Nice to join you all.
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Guns; Burning Man
Posted by Analogcabin @ 10:30 AM
If ever two things have been more serendipitously combined than an arsenal of handguns and Burning Man, I don't know what they are. Chocolate and peanut butter are karposi sarcoma and lemon juice/gravel body scrub compared to the idea of loosing a lot of handguns on a "playa" full of over-friendly and underclothed wanna-bes.
This is, of course, meant as no offense to Barry, who has undoubtedly been duped into attendance by some svengali.
I don't have to tell any of you gentlemen about my ex-neighbor, Andrew, and his entourage of Burning Man cohorts. But the reader, o the reader, should be made to understand the depth and complexity of his ridiculousness. Unfortunately, I've neither the time nor the taste for filling space here with analysis and anecdotal evidence sufficient to make you readers fully understand why living in proximity to a Burning Man outpost for two years was more than enough to make me wish holocaust to sweep across the western Nevada desert this August 25 through September 1, perhaps in the form of the third, sixth, or eighth plagues of Egypt -- gnats, boils, and locusts, respectively.
Of course, I'm now torn, knowing that Barry will be there.
I wonder, why Burning Man and why now?
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Go ahead... Make my day.
Posted by Sue @ 1:25 AM
Tonight was the first time I ever fired a handgun. But I didn't just fire a few rounds from a small pistol... I fired an assortment of handguns, including a 9mm, a .38 special, a .45 automatic, and the mother of all handguns: the .44 Magnum.
Believe it or not, although it had the greatest kick, I fared best with the .44 Magnum.
Suffice to say, I feel quite manly right now. I've since returned to my apartment (yes, the one I will soon be moving out of) and am wishing I had a beer to sup on. Unfortunately, there is no beer. My male fantasy has been squelched because I failed to plan ahead.
At least I have fresh milk and Corn Chex cereal... The closest thing I could find to apple pie. I'll eat it like a man. And as I eat it, there will be a mutitude of thoughts running through my head. I will recount my grip on the Glock .45 and compare it to that of the HK. I will reminisce about the smell of fresh gunpowder and the feel of the warm, blue steel barrel as I unloaded the empty casings from the .44 revolver.
But I will wonder most of all... How is The Spencer2K's prostate doing? I know he is horseback riding all this week and the shape of his prostate had been a valid and great concern of his prior to his departure.
And then, after I rinse the leftover milk and Chex residue from my green ceramic bowl, I will peel the disposable contact lenses from my eyes as though they were pieces of dead, useless swabs of skin and discard them in the bathroom wastebasket, which is lined with a plastic bag that I got from Pavillions supermarket.
And finally, I shall sleep. And pray that The Spencer2K returns to the City of Angels with his prostate intact.
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Monday, August 04, 2003
Ophelia?
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 8:28 PM
Today, Barry told me he's planning to attend this year's Burning Man festivities.
I asked if he'd be donning a "persona" for the event. He said no, but I sensed something in his curt response. Something like a cry for help.
Dare I suggest we reconvene The Committee, with the goal of building Barry the perfect Burning Man persona?
Oh, I dare. How about a Hamlet theme? Psychedelic Ophelia?
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Caption
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 11:28 AM
"Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney and me."
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Caption Contest.
Posted by Sue @ 1:56 AM
Hello, fellow Anal Log Cabin staff and trusty readers.
I need a caption for this picture.
Can anyone help?
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Friday, August 01, 2003
Item!
Posted by Jimmy Saffron @ 6:44 PM
Jimmy Fallon. FOD. Klepto. Racist Rapist. Hung like a thumb tack. Killed a homeless man, framed his assistant. Visits retirement homes, steals from the residents. Uses codeine for garnish.
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Misinformation?
Posted by Sue @ 4:52 PM
Well, it appears that the modus operandi of Tha Cabin's members is to post items with a penchant for the dramatic. I say this for a number of reasons. Namely, the porn magazines that Analogcabin and I squandered much of our time as youths reading belonged to my oldest brother. Not my father. However, on second thought, I believe my brother got them from my father, so maybe it all works out in the end. I don't know. I don't even know what I'm doing here. Mommy? Mommy?
But anyway, while I'm on this rant, I might as well say that my special lady friend is not a "plastic surgeon" as Analogcabin indicates on the "Staff" page. Also, I am not being "evicted" from my apartment in the traditional sense. I am voluntarily being "bought out" by my landlord, who intends to evict all those tenants who do not enter into such a buyout agreement by filing to "Ellis" the building under CA state law. Because I'm paying close to market value for the apartment anyway, it is not such a bad deal, save for the fact that I'm going to have to move... And that does suck.
Anyway, I suppose I now feel guilty about clearing the air of mystery Analogcabin had built up around me. As you can see, my life is not as exciting as Analogcabin had duped all of you's into believing. If I had a leather glove in my hand and were standing face to face with Mr. 'Cabin, I would slap him in the face with said glove, say "How dare you, Dartanyan!", and challenge him to a duel. Perhaps then the readers of this fair Blog will get the action they so lecherously crave and deserve.
I'm sorry, Analogcabin. I digress.
As for you, Barry, what sort of "reading-my-dad's-porn-in-the-closet" story would you care for us to concoct?
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What the...?
Posted by Barry @ 1:12 PM
Well... right now it's 11am on Friday morning. I've been checking the blog everyday and thinking... "Hmmn, kinda quiet around here," since the only thing I've seen for days and days is the moment of silence for old Bob Hope. But then this morning there are a plethora of posts -- too many, in fact, to give them all the shout outs they deserve. But I'll try.
Spence's date - I'm willing to wager he went home and masturbated.... again.
Porn documentary- Yay! (oh wait... STRAIGHT porn documentary - booooooo!) And personally, I'd like to hear a bit more about Analogcabin and Sue sitting in the closet together looking at porn. There's more to THAT story, right?
Hollywood gossip - YAWN! (except... I've been hearing rumblings that Jimmy Fallon is a FOD.... I'd like me some Jimmy Fallon... Oh... and Colin Farrel is spreading some sort of STD all around Hollywood... let us hope Jen Garner escaped the set of Daredevil clean as a whistle.)
Site name: You mean it's NOT supposed to ANAL - LOG - CABIN??? Disillusionment abounds.
One more thing about Bob Hope.... they're telling us he died with a smile on his face and NO LAST WORDS. How can this be? Wouldn't the last words he ever said, no matter when, be his last? I'm thinking a week or so before he died he probably called out, "Delores... I crapped myself again!" No last words indeed.
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Lovelace
Posted by Analogcabin @ 9:58 AM
I just re-read some of this week's posts and, though we plowed past it when first mentioned, I think the Linda Lovelace documentary link (now dead, incidentally) deserves a bit more attention. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that not only the link, but the topic itself is deserving of attention.
Why? Because I love pornography. I suppose there's no more concise answer than that.
Though I can't be sure, I think that "Deep Throat" was my first porno. I remember the film well, though it was confiscated by my mother over a decade ago. Not long ago, I wrote an incredibly nostalgic and, I think, touching review of the film for Blue Door under my pseudonym, Nick Pornby. It's wasn't accepted, though, and I can't understand why. Like an idiot, I deleted the text of the piece after posting it, and now it's lost forever.
So, you know, you'll have to take my word for how touching it was.
Anyway, I think that, as one of my first objects of masturbatory fascination, Linda Lovelace influenced my taste in women in some significant way. I think psychologists call it being "twisted" and "emotionally unhealthy." Whatever the fancy scientific terms might be, I know the now dead Lovelace played a roll in my growth.
If you know what I mean. Wink. Wink.
Gasp. Choke. Sigh.
I wonder, am I alone here? I know that Sue must have something to say, as for years he shared pornographic material spirited from deep within his father's closet with me. I don't remember that stuff nearly as well as I recall Ms. Lovelace, however.
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