You get roughed up, of course. You can download video here.
During the march, a group of guys in black shirts confronted the Warriors, shoved one, and tried to tear down their signs, accusing them of being "fascists". Reports of the demise of irony have been greatly exaggerated.
Ofc. Krupke at 12:23 PM
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26 August 2004
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26 August 2004
As evidence of how being a cop changes your life, I offer a summary of a conversation I had on a recent evening:
KRUPKE PAL: So, you guys wanna go to Popular Nightspot?
KRUPKE: I can't. I'm strapped.
KRUPKE PAL: Well, I can loan you some money...
KRUPKE: No, I mean I'm carrying a gun.
KRUPKE PAL: I believe the proper term is "I'm packing".
KRUPKE: Whatever.
KRUPKE PAL: So, you guys wanna go to Popular Nightspot?
KRUPKE: I can't. I'm strapped.
KRUPKE PAL: Well, I can loan you some money...
KRUPKE: No, I mean I'm carrying a gun.
KRUPKE PAL: I believe the proper term is "I'm packing".
KRUPKE: Whatever.
Ofc. Krupke at 4:42 PM
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25 August 2004
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25 August 2004
This piece from the Washington Post, about the upcoming slate of MoveOn.org ads, is remarkable for the sheer level of name-dropping going on. P. Diddy, Li'l Kim, LL Cool J, Moby, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Woody Harrelson, Margaret Cho, Matt Damon, Martin Sheen, Rob Reiner, Scarlett Johanssen, Ed Asner, Kevin Bacon, and Bruce Springsteen are just a few of the celebrities who have signed on to the effort to unseat President Bush.
In response, the Republicans have marshalled Bo Derek, Wayne Newton, and Stephen Baldwin.
You know, it's actually hard to say which side is more pathetic.
In response, the Republicans have marshalled Bo Derek, Wayne Newton, and Stephen Baldwin.
You know, it's actually hard to say which side is more pathetic.
Ofc. Krupke at 4:17 PM
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23 August 2004
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23 August 2004
If you press a Democrat for their counter-terrorism ideas, it's never long till the talk turns round to allies. John Kerry recently told NPR that he would change our diplomacy to bring our allies into Iraq, which would allow us to withdraw our troops in six months to a year. Other Democrats have said similar things, that we need allies, that President Bush has alienated "the whole world", that a President Kerry will unite the world against terror. By the way, be careful where and when you press a Democrat for their counter-terrorism ideas. Pepper spray kinda stings.
Anyway, when Kerry talk about "allies", let's be clear what he means: France, Germany, and Russia. They are, after all, the biggest dissenters against the Iraq War, and the only major European powers who have not sent any troops. The unanswered (and, in fact, largely unasked) question is: will they? The short version: not likely.
First off is resources. The bitter fact is that our allies don't have the military resources to be of much help to the U.S. Bush's critics take endless jibes at the troop levels among the "Coalition of the Willing", suggesting that they're just window dressing (never mind the fact that they're taking real casualties). Our allies have allowed their military capabilities to atrophy (as did we, to some extent) in the wake of the Cold War. The level of deployable troops in the Eurpoean Union is paltry. The promised European "Rapid Reaction Force" has yet to take useful shape, and its entire strength of 60,000 will still be dwarfed by what America has deployed in Iraq.
The Europeans also have domestic political concerns that don't seem to play any part in Kerry's analysis. Europe is currently undergoing a quiet but dramatic demographic shift. The largest bodies of immigrants in Europe are Muslims from the Middle East and North Africa: the EU is home to some 15 million Muslims (two-thirds of whom live in France or Germany - coincidence?), and they are not assimilating very well. Europe is sitting on something of a time bomb of Muslim opinion, that takes a dim view of Western intervention in Islamic countries. In America, we don't really appreciate the delicate dance the European governments have to do.
Europe might want to help us with our Islamist problem, but they can't. And amid the talk of the Old Alliances That Have Seen Us Through Our Worst Times, we need to consider a highly distasteful prospect: that, perhaps, it is somewhat in Europe's interest that the U.S. remain in the crosshairs. Like the repressive Arab governments that encourage and abet radical anti-Americanism among their own populations as a pressure-valve to avoid threats to the government's position, it helps Europe politically to distance itself from a U.S. which wants to aggressively target Islamic terrorism.
I don't mean to suggest that Europe is now our enemy. But if we're rounding up "a posse", to borrow from Rep. Menendez's convention speech (and the kind of cowboy rhetoric liberals mock endlessly if it comes from the President), we might want to think twice about deputizing a guy who lives with the bandit's cousin. And we certainly don't want to make our mission contingent on his participation.
Kerry gave some tough talk about how he will not allow any country or institution (he doesn't say "United Nations", of course, but he ain't talking about the Smithsonian) to veto America's security. He seems to say this out of an apparent belief that it won't be necessary, because his masterful diplomacy and overwhelming charisma will mean there will never be any problems. People talk about Bush being unrealistic, but this is foreign policy as self-actualizing fantasy. And the reaction to his speech in Europe suggests that while they may prefer him to Bush, that hardly means they will do his bidding.
Another problem for Kerry, again, is that, for all the talk about Bush's Texas unilateralism, many of our allies already have troops in Iraq. Kerry's apparent belief that he can get huge influxes of allied troops implies that he thinks they're not sending all they could. Presumably, this is because Bush has offended them. Are our allies really that sensitive? Kerry had better hope not: I would look forward to seeing him try to explain to Great Britain, Italy, and Australia all the "nations you can buy on eBay" and "coalition of the bought and bullied" rhetoric that has been flying around Democratic circles. Kerry will certainly get a better reaction from Europe just by virtue of not being George Bush. But he's deluding himself and us if he thinks that his honeymoon will last any longer than "Nous sommes tous Americains".
I don't care how flawless Kerry assures us his diplomacy will be: he is not going to convince our European allies to commit political suicide by undertaking projections they cannot afford of military assets they do not possess. He's offering nothing but a liberal internationalists' version of the much-derided "rose petals" theory of Iraq. This isn't a policy, it's a prayer.
Anyway, when Kerry talk about "allies", let's be clear what he means: France, Germany, and Russia. They are, after all, the biggest dissenters against the Iraq War, and the only major European powers who have not sent any troops. The unanswered (and, in fact, largely unasked) question is: will they? The short version: not likely.
First off is resources. The bitter fact is that our allies don't have the military resources to be of much help to the U.S. Bush's critics take endless jibes at the troop levels among the "Coalition of the Willing", suggesting that they're just window dressing (never mind the fact that they're taking real casualties). Our allies have allowed their military capabilities to atrophy (as did we, to some extent) in the wake of the Cold War. The level of deployable troops in the Eurpoean Union is paltry. The promised European "Rapid Reaction Force" has yet to take useful shape, and its entire strength of 60,000 will still be dwarfed by what America has deployed in Iraq.
The Europeans also have domestic political concerns that don't seem to play any part in Kerry's analysis. Europe is currently undergoing a quiet but dramatic demographic shift. The largest bodies of immigrants in Europe are Muslims from the Middle East and North Africa: the EU is home to some 15 million Muslims (two-thirds of whom live in France or Germany - coincidence?), and they are not assimilating very well. Europe is sitting on something of a time bomb of Muslim opinion, that takes a dim view of Western intervention in Islamic countries. In America, we don't really appreciate the delicate dance the European governments have to do.
Europe might want to help us with our Islamist problem, but they can't. And amid the talk of the Old Alliances That Have Seen Us Through Our Worst Times, we need to consider a highly distasteful prospect: that, perhaps, it is somewhat in Europe's interest that the U.S. remain in the crosshairs. Like the repressive Arab governments that encourage and abet radical anti-Americanism among their own populations as a pressure-valve to avoid threats to the government's position, it helps Europe politically to distance itself from a U.S. which wants to aggressively target Islamic terrorism.
I don't mean to suggest that Europe is now our enemy. But if we're rounding up "a posse", to borrow from Rep. Menendez's convention speech (and the kind of cowboy rhetoric liberals mock endlessly if it comes from the President), we might want to think twice about deputizing a guy who lives with the bandit's cousin. And we certainly don't want to make our mission contingent on his participation.
Kerry gave some tough talk about how he will not allow any country or institution (he doesn't say "United Nations", of course, but he ain't talking about the Smithsonian) to veto America's security. He seems to say this out of an apparent belief that it won't be necessary, because his masterful diplomacy and overwhelming charisma will mean there will never be any problems. People talk about Bush being unrealistic, but this is foreign policy as self-actualizing fantasy. And the reaction to his speech in Europe suggests that while they may prefer him to Bush, that hardly means they will do his bidding.
Another problem for Kerry, again, is that, for all the talk about Bush's Texas unilateralism, many of our allies already have troops in Iraq. Kerry's apparent belief that he can get huge influxes of allied troops implies that he thinks they're not sending all they could. Presumably, this is because Bush has offended them. Are our allies really that sensitive? Kerry had better hope not: I would look forward to seeing him try to explain to Great Britain, Italy, and Australia all the "nations you can buy on eBay" and "coalition of the bought and bullied" rhetoric that has been flying around Democratic circles. Kerry will certainly get a better reaction from Europe just by virtue of not being George Bush. But he's deluding himself and us if he thinks that his honeymoon will last any longer than "Nous sommes tous Americains".
I don't care how flawless Kerry assures us his diplomacy will be: he is not going to convince our European allies to commit political suicide by undertaking projections they cannot afford of military assets they do not possess. He's offering nothing but a liberal internationalists' version of the much-derided "rose petals" theory of Iraq. This isn't a policy, it's a prayer.
Ofc. Krupke at 5:14 PM
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19 August 2004
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19 August 2004
I had waited for months while it was on back order, but it finally arrived. I was so excited, and as soon as I could get my hands on it, I immediately took it and started playing with it.
What is it, you ask? A new U.S. Bombs CD? My Petro-Zionist Neocon War Conspiracy decoder ring? A Latvian mail-order bride?
Good guesses all, but wrong. It is, in fact, the parts kit needed to put together a street-legal M-4 carbine. The receiver that it's built around pre-dates the tragicomic assault weapons ban, which means that I am allowed to have features like a collapsible stock, bayonet lug, and flash suppressor (which does not in fact do what its name implies, yet was banned on the premise that it does).
It features a new-style four-position telescoping stock, 16" barrel with Phantom flash suppressor, and a flattop receiver with a Weaver scope rail and a removable carrying handle. It's also equipped with a Rail Adaptor System from Knight's Manufacturing: the grip panels on the forearm slide off to reveal milspec 1913 rails for the mounting of various tactical geegaws: lights, grips, lasers, optics, proton death beams, etc.
Here's a crummy digital pic of it in all its liberal-alarming splendor:
All in all, it would be a great item to carry in the cruiser trunk for those urgent social situations, if only the SCPD would let me carry it (I've rambled on this topic before, and will not repeat myself). So anyway, now I'm ready should Al Qaeda ever decide to try a low-tech Khobar approach here, or if the U.N. gets any funny ideas.
It might also come in handy if Bush wins the election, thereby causing MoveOn.org to lose its last marble and begin making videotaped pronouncements in ski masks. If Kerry wins, I'll just put it on a pedestal and claim it's a post-representational sculpture decrying the waste and cruelty of the Bush War Machine. If I play my cards right, I could probably get an NEA grant to buy ammo with.
I know a lot of people object to my having this gun (well, perhaps not me specifically, though there are some of those too). To them I offer a cheap paraphrase of a tediously over-quoted cliche: I disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to have something to defend what you say to the death with.
Besides. . . deep down, you know you want one.
What is it, you ask? A new U.S. Bombs CD? My Petro-Zionist Neocon War Conspiracy decoder ring? A Latvian mail-order bride?
Good guesses all, but wrong. It is, in fact, the parts kit needed to put together a street-legal M-4 carbine. The receiver that it's built around pre-dates the tragicomic assault weapons ban, which means that I am allowed to have features like a collapsible stock, bayonet lug, and flash suppressor (which does not in fact do what its name implies, yet was banned on the premise that it does).
It features a new-style four-position telescoping stock, 16" barrel with Phantom flash suppressor, and a flattop receiver with a Weaver scope rail and a removable carrying handle. It's also equipped with a Rail Adaptor System from Knight's Manufacturing: the grip panels on the forearm slide off to reveal milspec 1913 rails for the mounting of various tactical geegaws: lights, grips, lasers, optics, proton death beams, etc.
Here's a crummy digital pic of it in all its liberal-alarming splendor:
All in all, it would be a great item to carry in the cruiser trunk for those urgent social situations, if only the SCPD would let me carry it (I've rambled on this topic before, and will not repeat myself). So anyway, now I'm ready should Al Qaeda ever decide to try a low-tech Khobar approach here, or if the U.N. gets any funny ideas.
It might also come in handy if Bush wins the election, thereby causing MoveOn.org to lose its last marble and begin making videotaped pronouncements in ski masks. If Kerry wins, I'll just put it on a pedestal and claim it's a post-representational sculpture decrying the waste and cruelty of the Bush War Machine. If I play my cards right, I could probably get an NEA grant to buy ammo with.
I know a lot of people object to my having this gun (well, perhaps not me specifically, though there are some of those too). To them I offer a cheap paraphrase of a tediously over-quoted cliche: I disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to have something to defend what you say to the death with.
Besides. . . deep down, you know you want one.
Ofc. Krupke at 4:02 PM
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16 August 2004
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16 August 2004
In the "Give Credit Where It's Due" Department, I have to say that this is a pretty nice political stunt.
Presumptuous, meaningless, and more than a little condescending, but nice, and there's something to be said for that. Though I think sheltered Manhattan liberals would be better served by a regular "Take a Cop to Lunch" program. Their first lesson would come when they have to pay, courtesy of the scandalous NYPD salary structure.
Presumptuous, meaningless, and more than a little condescending, but nice, and there's something to be said for that. Though I think sheltered Manhattan liberals would be better served by a regular "Take a Cop to Lunch" program. Their first lesson would come when they have to pay, courtesy of the scandalous NYPD salary structure.
Ofc. Krupke at 9:44 AM
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15 August 2004
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15 August 2004
When a hurricane hits, the only thing that's never in short supply is advice. As the monster approaches, the broadcast airwaves are full of helpful tips: open your windows a crack so that the pressure imbalance doesn't make them shatter. Put masking tape across them so that if they do shatter, the glass won't fly everywhere. Stay out of low-lying areas during the storm surge. Remove items from your lawn that may be picked up by the wind and become dangerous projectiles. Keep a box filled with essentials in case you have to evacuate. Don't hesitate to evacuate if you even think you may be in danger. All this advice is typically ignored, leading to headlines like, "Area Woman, 126 Commemorative Plates Found in Tree".
Notably, one piece of advice they do not give is: "Get into your Crown Victoria, head out into the storm, then drive around in circles and try not to get hit by a tree." So, naturally, that was what I was doing as Hurricane Charley swept over Southern City.
As we headed out on patrol, the rain was coming down light but steady. It increased steadily over hours one and two. There was barely any traffic out, and few signs of inhabitation anywhere on Devil's Island, which only added to a sense that only the truly and passionately stupid would be outside. An alarm went off at a warehouse in the industrial district. I checked the perimeter, and found nothing. The sprinklers watering the grass in the corporate park were blissfully spraying away as the rain came down.
The radio wasn't much help. About half the stations were simulcasting a feed from the local news & talk station, with frequent weather reports, updates on traffic closings, more hurricane tips, and periodic official statements from the command center at the state's Department of Panic. The rest of the dial was evenly divided between dead air and crappy music (Why, oh, why did Charley have to visit on the same weekend as the 35th anniversary of Woodstock? Isn't one disaster enough? I swear, if I'd heard one more aging hippie Boomer declaring that it was, like, totally, the most significant event in human history, man, I was going to snap and hunt down the last surviving members of the Grateful Dead, assuming that there are any.)
During hour three, branches began to fall and litter the streets as the wind picked up. The rain fell in walls, and the intersections began to form lakes. The radio was busy downtown; area stores were experiencing a wave of last-minute shoplifters trying to stock up for the storm. The radio stations began to flicker.
In hour four, the wind was blistering, gusting up to official hurricane force. Half the radio dial went dead. News reports talked about death tolls at Charley's first landfall. I couldn't be sure if the power was working in Devil's Island or not; all the houses seemed darkened. Most of them were empty. The river down by the fishing piers was roiling like an angry thing. I decided not to park there very long.
Control advised that we were to close the bridges to all heavy commercial traffic. I went up to check the two bridges that feed into Devil's Island's slice of the interstate. They were empty except for me. The bridge was slick with water, and the wind was fierce. Water that would normally have run off the sides of the guardrail was misting and splattering back up. The smoke from the stacks of the industrial plant across the river made a horizontal cloud in the sky. My cruiser began to scud sideways as I roared over the top of the bridge, the wind pressing against it and the tires slipping ever so on the wet pavement. I didn't care, though, because the radio was finally playing some Monster Magnet and I had the volume cranked way up. The dumbest shit makes me happy.
By hour five, the wind had died down, and the rain was merely a persistent downpour. I parked in the lot of the supermarket shopping center and waited as the rain slowed. The bulk of Charley had passed us now. Control announced which bridges could now be opened. I looked up at the overpass and saw some light trucks making their way across. A manager from the supermarket crossed the parking lot to me. I hopped out of the cruiser, hoping he had some looters that needed suppressing or something. He just wanted to know whether all the bridges were open, because he had trucks coming through.
By hour six, the clouds had parted enough to see the sky, and the sunlight was strangely strong. There was a tree down here and there, and some intersections closed for flooding, but Southern City was still standing, and we'd come through relatively lucky. The news reported that the federal government was activating a military mortuary team to assist in recovering bodies in Florida.
My cell phone rang - it was another cop who lives in the same apartment complex as me. "Do you want the good news, or the bad news first?" he asked. I figured I might as well hear the bad, and told him so. "Your car got hit by some branches." Aw, crap. What's the good news? "They're only about three-quarters of an inch thick." Ha ha, very funny, you asshole.
In hour twelve, my shift was over, my cruiser about out of gas, and I headed home. The news was talking about Earl, already gaining strength and looking set to follow the same path as Charley. Must be "Redneck Theme Month" at the National Weather Service. Time to buy some more bottled water and masking tape, I guess.
By the way, the American Red Cross is collecting for the victims of Charley here.
Notably, one piece of advice they do not give is: "Get into your Crown Victoria, head out into the storm, then drive around in circles and try not to get hit by a tree." So, naturally, that was what I was doing as Hurricane Charley swept over Southern City.
As we headed out on patrol, the rain was coming down light but steady. It increased steadily over hours one and two. There was barely any traffic out, and few signs of inhabitation anywhere on Devil's Island, which only added to a sense that only the truly and passionately stupid would be outside. An alarm went off at a warehouse in the industrial district. I checked the perimeter, and found nothing. The sprinklers watering the grass in the corporate park were blissfully spraying away as the rain came down.
The radio wasn't much help. About half the stations were simulcasting a feed from the local news & talk station, with frequent weather reports, updates on traffic closings, more hurricane tips, and periodic official statements from the command center at the state's Department of Panic. The rest of the dial was evenly divided between dead air and crappy music (Why, oh, why did Charley have to visit on the same weekend as the 35th anniversary of Woodstock? Isn't one disaster enough? I swear, if I'd heard one more aging hippie Boomer declaring that it was, like, totally, the most significant event in human history, man, I was going to snap and hunt down the last surviving members of the Grateful Dead, assuming that there are any.)
During hour three, branches began to fall and litter the streets as the wind picked up. The rain fell in walls, and the intersections began to form lakes. The radio was busy downtown; area stores were experiencing a wave of last-minute shoplifters trying to stock up for the storm. The radio stations began to flicker.
In hour four, the wind was blistering, gusting up to official hurricane force. Half the radio dial went dead. News reports talked about death tolls at Charley's first landfall. I couldn't be sure if the power was working in Devil's Island or not; all the houses seemed darkened. Most of them were empty. The river down by the fishing piers was roiling like an angry thing. I decided not to park there very long.
Control advised that we were to close the bridges to all heavy commercial traffic. I went up to check the two bridges that feed into Devil's Island's slice of the interstate. They were empty except for me. The bridge was slick with water, and the wind was fierce. Water that would normally have run off the sides of the guardrail was misting and splattering back up. The smoke from the stacks of the industrial plant across the river made a horizontal cloud in the sky. My cruiser began to scud sideways as I roared over the top of the bridge, the wind pressing against it and the tires slipping ever so on the wet pavement. I didn't care, though, because the radio was finally playing some Monster Magnet and I had the volume cranked way up. The dumbest shit makes me happy.
By hour five, the wind had died down, and the rain was merely a persistent downpour. I parked in the lot of the supermarket shopping center and waited as the rain slowed. The bulk of Charley had passed us now. Control announced which bridges could now be opened. I looked up at the overpass and saw some light trucks making their way across. A manager from the supermarket crossed the parking lot to me. I hopped out of the cruiser, hoping he had some looters that needed suppressing or something. He just wanted to know whether all the bridges were open, because he had trucks coming through.
By hour six, the clouds had parted enough to see the sky, and the sunlight was strangely strong. There was a tree down here and there, and some intersections closed for flooding, but Southern City was still standing, and we'd come through relatively lucky. The news reported that the federal government was activating a military mortuary team to assist in recovering bodies in Florida.
My cell phone rang - it was another cop who lives in the same apartment complex as me. "Do you want the good news, or the bad news first?" he asked. I figured I might as well hear the bad, and told him so. "Your car got hit by some branches." Aw, crap. What's the good news? "They're only about three-quarters of an inch thick." Ha ha, very funny, you asshole.
In hour twelve, my shift was over, my cruiser about out of gas, and I headed home. The news was talking about Earl, already gaining strength and looking set to follow the same path as Charley. Must be "Redneck Theme Month" at the National Weather Service. Time to buy some more bottled water and masking tape, I guess.
By the way, the American Red Cross is collecting for the victims of Charley here.
Ofc. Krupke at 11:24 AM
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12 August 2004
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12 August 2004
The other day I was assigned to a special detail downtown. The Muscular Dystrophy Association (or, as they're often called, "those Jerry telethon people") was holding a fundraising "lock-up". What happens is, they get various community and business honchos to volunteer to be fake-arrested and fake-jailed (at a hotel), at which point they work the phones until they bring in enough donations to get themselves sprung. In practical terms, this means that they'll spend slightly more time incarcerated than your typical Southern City scofflaw. From the brochures the MDA had at their headquarters, it appears they often use pro-sports-team cheerleaders in skimpy police outfits to make the "arrests", but here in Southern City they use real cops, which frankly drains all the kinky frisson out of the whole thing, if you ask me.
Basically, what we had to do was collect a number of "warrants", which had the name and address of the volunteer, and we'd go there to pick them up. We were somewhat running against the clock, though, because each person had a time they were supposed to be picked up, and every hour a fresh batch of warrants came due. We would try to get three locations that were relatively close for each sortie, giving us enough time to get them, drop them at the hotel, and pick up a fresh assignment before the clock came due. It was like a Grand Theft Auto mission designed by Rotarians.
All in all, it wasn't a bad way to earn a day's pay. Everyone was very nice and they gave us pizza (which is a pretty good day in police work). My biggest disappointment came on my first pickup of the day, which was for the manager of the local Imax. Her employees told me she was just getting out of the gym, and had apologized in advance for looking "like a wreck." When she came down the steps she was, of course, 5'11", blonde, willowy, and stunning. If that was "a wreck", I'd hate to be blindsided on one of her good days. It ill becomes a public official to stand transfixed with glazed eyes and a slight drool.
Much to my disappointment, she told me that she'd mailed a check in and therefore had canceled her arrest, so I wouldn't be putting her in handcuffs. I suppose I could have insisted, on the grounds that "the check's in the mail" is a transparently bogus excuse, but there is that whole Kidnapping statute thing.
In other news, the crowd control unit had a meeting, and they passed out a sheaf of certificates from the State of Georgia, Office of Homeland Security, thanking us for our stellar service during the G-8 conference. They spelled my name wrong.
They also asked, "Who here is on the hurricane response team this year?", referring to a list of people the SCPD assembles each hurricane season to deploy to assist cities that get hit. This is, of course, in reference to Bonnie and her meaner brother Charley's imminent romp across the lower eastern seaboard. Guess I better pack my stuff.
Basically, what we had to do was collect a number of "warrants", which had the name and address of the volunteer, and we'd go there to pick them up. We were somewhat running against the clock, though, because each person had a time they were supposed to be picked up, and every hour a fresh batch of warrants came due. We would try to get three locations that were relatively close for each sortie, giving us enough time to get them, drop them at the hotel, and pick up a fresh assignment before the clock came due. It was like a Grand Theft Auto mission designed by Rotarians.
All in all, it wasn't a bad way to earn a day's pay. Everyone was very nice and they gave us pizza (which is a pretty good day in police work). My biggest disappointment came on my first pickup of the day, which was for the manager of the local Imax. Her employees told me she was just getting out of the gym, and had apologized in advance for looking "like a wreck." When she came down the steps she was, of course, 5'11", blonde, willowy, and stunning. If that was "a wreck", I'd hate to be blindsided on one of her good days. It ill becomes a public official to stand transfixed with glazed eyes and a slight drool.
Much to my disappointment, she told me that she'd mailed a check in and therefore had canceled her arrest, so I wouldn't be putting her in handcuffs. I suppose I could have insisted, on the grounds that "the check's in the mail" is a transparently bogus excuse, but there is that whole Kidnapping statute thing.
In other news, the crowd control unit had a meeting, and they passed out a sheaf of certificates from the State of Georgia, Office of Homeland Security, thanking us for our stellar service during the G-8 conference. They spelled my name wrong.
They also asked, "Who here is on the hurricane response team this year?", referring to a list of people the SCPD assembles each hurricane season to deploy to assist cities that get hit. This is, of course, in reference to Bonnie and her meaner brother Charley's imminent romp across the lower eastern seaboard. Guess I better pack my stuff.
Ofc. Krupke at 5:58 PM
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10 August 2004
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10 August 2004
Well, color me stunned. Shocked. Flabbergasted, knocked for a loop. Jaw, meet Floor. I mean, I never, ever, ever would have expected this. I mean, who'd have seen that coming?
From the Boston Globe, July 16, 2004:
On a day when United Nations officials estimated that hundreds of thousands of Sudanese may die in coming weeks because of lack of medical supplies, Kerry called for the United States, with the UN, to lead an "international humanitarian intervention" in Sudan's war-torn region of Darfur, where Arab militias have been killing and displacing villagers, driving some into neighboring Chad.
"This administration must stop equivocating. Those government-sponsored atrocities should be called by their rightful name -- genocide," Kerry said to cheers. "That is a lesson of Rwanda. That is a lesson of World War II. That is a lesson of time."
Lessons learned:
Half-baked accusations that "it's all about the oil"? Check.
It's all Israel's fault? Check.
Stalwart European moral leadership? Check.
Embarrassing fact that nation run by lunatic murdercrats is member of U.N. Human Rights Commission? Check.
And remember: all these people really, really want to help create a stable, democratic Iraq. They're just miffed at George Bush, that's all.
Enjoy your multilateralism, Senator.
From the Boston Globe, July 16, 2004:
On a day when United Nations officials estimated that hundreds of thousands of Sudanese may die in coming weeks because of lack of medical supplies, Kerry called for the United States, with the UN, to lead an "international humanitarian intervention" in Sudan's war-torn region of Darfur, where Arab militias have been killing and displacing villagers, driving some into neighboring Chad.
"This administration must stop equivocating. Those government-sponsored atrocities should be called by their rightful name -- genocide," Kerry said to cheers. "That is a lesson of Rwanda. That is a lesson of World War II. That is a lesson of time."
Lessons learned:
Half-baked accusations that "it's all about the oil"? Check.
It's all Israel's fault? Check.
Stalwart European moral leadership? Check.
Embarrassing fact that nation run by lunatic murdercrats is member of U.N. Human Rights Commission? Check.
And remember: all these people really, really want to help create a stable, democratic Iraq. They're just miffed at George Bush, that's all.
Enjoy your multilateralism, Senator.
Ofc. Krupke at 7:56 PM
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09 August 2004
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09 August 2004
Wretchard over at Belmont Club is writing about the future of the war, and suggests that Al Qaeda may be hurting worse than we imagine. He also discusses the writings of some academics who argue that the war against terrorism may end up as a war against religion generally; that the only way to win will be to annihilate all systems of belief entirely. This proves once again that some academics think about this shit waaayy too much. Interesting stuff.
In another piece, he talks about the insurgency against the Philippine government by Islamic separatists in the Mindanao islands. It's interesting because it talks about a conflict we hear little about, but which is bound up in our own struggle against fascist Islamism, and indicates how the Philippines' capitulationist instincts in Iraq may come back to haunt them sooner than they anticipated.
But mostly it's interesting because the insurrectionists in question call themselves the Mindanao Islamic Liberation Front.
That's right, a terrorist group called "MILF".
Don't understand us very well, do they?
In another piece, he talks about the insurgency against the Philippine government by Islamic separatists in the Mindanao islands. It's interesting because it talks about a conflict we hear little about, but which is bound up in our own struggle against fascist Islamism, and indicates how the Philippines' capitulationist instincts in Iraq may come back to haunt them sooner than they anticipated.
But mostly it's interesting because the insurrectionists in question call themselves the Mindanao Islamic Liberation Front.
That's right, a terrorist group called "MILF".
Don't understand us very well, do they?
Ofc. Krupke at 10:56 AM
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06 August 2004
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06 August 2004
I want to address these next words directly to President George W. Bush. In the weeks ahead, let's be optimists, not just opponents. Let's build unity in the American family, not angry division. Let's honor this nation's diversity. Let's respect one another...And that's why Republicans and Democrats must make this election a contest of big ideas, not small-minded attacks.
-Sen. John Kerry, accepting the Democratic nomination
First of all, had I been reading to children, and had my top aide whispered in my ear, 'America is under attack,' I would have told those kids very politely and nicely that the president of the United States had business that he needed to attend to, and I would have attended to it."
-Sen. John Kerry, at the Unity convention
And, in those seven minutes, President John Kerry would have saved the world.
You know, I shouldn't let this bother me. I'm tougher than that. It's sort of a departure from the Democrats' sham "positive campaign", where they posit Kerry and Edwards as the sunshine boys, playing down their political attacks by not mentioning the President by name (but, wink, wink, when they talk about Halliburton, and "policies are shaped by working American families instead of the super-rich and their armies of lobbyists", it's not like they're speaking Tagalog), and outsourcing the really nasty work to the Michael Moores and the Soroses. Well, that was a negative attack, and a rather sharp one at that. Perhaps I should be happy that the curtain has dropped.
Maybe it's because it's about 9-11. Kerry, in an interview, describes sitting with Sens. Barbara Boxer and Harry Reid, "and we just realized nobody could think." A lot of conservatives have jumped on this, constructing timelines that purport to show that Kerry sat there in shock for upwards of forty minutes, much longer than Bush. This is asinine hair-splitting, and I don't give a shit about it. But Kerry's immediate shock is very similar to what he implicitly criticizes Bush for. Fine, you may argue, but he wasn't Commander in Chief at the time. No, but he's asking to be now, in part by telling us how cool and statesmanlike he would have been in those seven minutes. A regular Monday morning Lincoln.
For those interested, this is discussed briefly in the 9-11 Commission report (I found it on page 56 of my .pdf). The report notes that "the President felt he should project strength and calm until he could better understand what was happening." Hate Bush as you may, you have to admit that it would be hard to ask for a worse possible setting to be delivered the most crushing news in the young millennium. Sitting before a class of six-year-olds, in front of rolling TV cameras, hearing the reporters' cell phones and beepers going off simultaneously, like some bleeping Greek chorus of impending despair. As the President sat there, listening to those kids reading "My Pet Goat", I am as certain as I can be that he thought of his own children. And maybe, just maybe, the children on the planes. And the children in the day care centers at the World Trade Center. And in that moment, it seemed to him that he should be there for these kids. It's possible. It involves imagining Bush as something other than unalloyed evil, but it's possible.
It wasn't like he could dash out of the school anyway. As anyone who is even a casual viewer of The West Wing knows, the President does not get to choose his movements at such times. The Secret Service had to check on some stuff - you know, like whether Air Force One was secure, can we get some fighter escorts, whether the route had been compromised, whether there wasn't a pack of crazies from Al Qaeda or the Michigan Militia or the PLO or whoever the fuck had done this standing outside with loaded Krinkovs and the contented smile of the doomed. You know, stuff. The Commission's report also indicates that Bush argued strongly that he should return to Washington, and was overruled (he took a lot of bile from Mary McGrory of The Washington Post, among others, for this, by the way).
Could he have better used his seven minutes? Perhaps. He could have followed the fantasy Kerry, politely excused himself, and demanded a phone in the next room because I'm The Commader In Chief, By God. And in all likelihood, it wouldn't have meant a fucking thing. Thirty minutes after Andrew Card whispered "America is under attack" into the President's ear, NORAD was still getting conflicted reports about how many planes there were, and where they might be. Flight 93 and its ad hoc Delta Force had been brought down before there was even word of its hijacking in the President's teleconference.
It's just possibly possible that Bush learned the same thing I did in being part of hierarchical organizations: that urgent directives from a grand authority so far up the organizational ladder as to be essentially invisible to the people on the ground who are dealing with the problem, rarely help anything. Just ask any cop who's ever tried to work a crime scene when the Chief of Police shows up. For decisions on the weekly, monthly, maybe even hourly level, Presidential input is vital. For decisions on the minute level, he's likely to get in the way. No matter who he is.
I can't ever prove this, but I will likely believe it to my dying day: had Bush followed Plan Kerry and left, Michael Moore would have included that, and wondered, rhetorically, how anyone could react so quickly and callously to such horrible news. We might have gotten a montage of ordinary Americans talking about how stunned they had been, how they couldn't move, they could only stare, and cry (one of them would be an Arab-American). Critics would describe it as "extraordinarily moving and genuine". I can hear Moore's voiceover in my head: "America stopped, and tried to take stock. George Bush. . .did not." (cut to bombs falling on dusky people). Why would he? It was all a giant BushCo con-job put-up, and he couldn't wait even a second before ditching those lame multiculti brats to go play with his shiny new war.
Some have minimized it, suggesting that Kerry was just answering a question put to him about Bush's minutes in the classroom. It was the questioner that framed the attack; Kerry didn't mention Bush by name. What bullshit.
Here's what Kerry could have said: "I don't wish to second-guess anyone's actions on that fateful, tragic day, now with the benefit of hindsight. I'll leave such divisive attacks to my opponents, because I want to talk about jobs blah blah blah." He could even have gone for a more "Inside Baseball" approach, talking about who he would have called, what he would have asked, how quickly he would have called a special U.N. assembly meeting, whatever. And the press would have fallen all over themselves about how classy he was. It might have been his long-sought "Sister Souljah moment". But he couldn't help himself.
His zinger did get a lot of applause. That's the important thing, I guess.
"My friends, the high road may be harder, but it leads to a better place."
I could go on about this, but I've already gone on too long. This thing shouldn't piss me off.
But it does. And now, I'm going to go clean my rifle.
-Sen. John Kerry, accepting the Democratic nomination
First of all, had I been reading to children, and had my top aide whispered in my ear, 'America is under attack,' I would have told those kids very politely and nicely that the president of the United States had business that he needed to attend to, and I would have attended to it."
-Sen. John Kerry, at the Unity convention
And, in those seven minutes, President John Kerry would have saved the world.
You know, I shouldn't let this bother me. I'm tougher than that. It's sort of a departure from the Democrats' sham "positive campaign", where they posit Kerry and Edwards as the sunshine boys, playing down their political attacks by not mentioning the President by name (but, wink, wink, when they talk about Halliburton, and "policies are shaped by working American families instead of the super-rich and their armies of lobbyists", it's not like they're speaking Tagalog), and outsourcing the really nasty work to the Michael Moores and the Soroses. Well, that was a negative attack, and a rather sharp one at that. Perhaps I should be happy that the curtain has dropped.
Maybe it's because it's about 9-11. Kerry, in an interview, describes sitting with Sens. Barbara Boxer and Harry Reid, "and we just realized nobody could think." A lot of conservatives have jumped on this, constructing timelines that purport to show that Kerry sat there in shock for upwards of forty minutes, much longer than Bush. This is asinine hair-splitting, and I don't give a shit about it. But Kerry's immediate shock is very similar to what he implicitly criticizes Bush for. Fine, you may argue, but he wasn't Commander in Chief at the time. No, but he's asking to be now, in part by telling us how cool and statesmanlike he would have been in those seven minutes. A regular Monday morning Lincoln.
For those interested, this is discussed briefly in the 9-11 Commission report (I found it on page 56 of my .pdf). The report notes that "the President felt he should project strength and calm until he could better understand what was happening." Hate Bush as you may, you have to admit that it would be hard to ask for a worse possible setting to be delivered the most crushing news in the young millennium. Sitting before a class of six-year-olds, in front of rolling TV cameras, hearing the reporters' cell phones and beepers going off simultaneously, like some bleeping Greek chorus of impending despair. As the President sat there, listening to those kids reading "My Pet Goat", I am as certain as I can be that he thought of his own children. And maybe, just maybe, the children on the planes. And the children in the day care centers at the World Trade Center. And in that moment, it seemed to him that he should be there for these kids. It's possible. It involves imagining Bush as something other than unalloyed evil, but it's possible.
It wasn't like he could dash out of the school anyway. As anyone who is even a casual viewer of The West Wing knows, the President does not get to choose his movements at such times. The Secret Service had to check on some stuff - you know, like whether Air Force One was secure, can we get some fighter escorts, whether the route had been compromised, whether there wasn't a pack of crazies from Al Qaeda or the Michigan Militia or the PLO or whoever the fuck had done this standing outside with loaded Krinkovs and the contented smile of the doomed. You know, stuff. The Commission's report also indicates that Bush argued strongly that he should return to Washington, and was overruled (he took a lot of bile from Mary McGrory of The Washington Post, among others, for this, by the way).
Could he have better used his seven minutes? Perhaps. He could have followed the fantasy Kerry, politely excused himself, and demanded a phone in the next room because I'm The Commader In Chief, By God. And in all likelihood, it wouldn't have meant a fucking thing. Thirty minutes after Andrew Card whispered "America is under attack" into the President's ear, NORAD was still getting conflicted reports about how many planes there were, and where they might be. Flight 93 and its ad hoc Delta Force had been brought down before there was even word of its hijacking in the President's teleconference.
It's just possibly possible that Bush learned the same thing I did in being part of hierarchical organizations: that urgent directives from a grand authority so far up the organizational ladder as to be essentially invisible to the people on the ground who are dealing with the problem, rarely help anything. Just ask any cop who's ever tried to work a crime scene when the Chief of Police shows up. For decisions on the weekly, monthly, maybe even hourly level, Presidential input is vital. For decisions on the minute level, he's likely to get in the way. No matter who he is.
I can't ever prove this, but I will likely believe it to my dying day: had Bush followed Plan Kerry and left, Michael Moore would have included that, and wondered, rhetorically, how anyone could react so quickly and callously to such horrible news. We might have gotten a montage of ordinary Americans talking about how stunned they had been, how they couldn't move, they could only stare, and cry (one of them would be an Arab-American). Critics would describe it as "extraordinarily moving and genuine". I can hear Moore's voiceover in my head: "America stopped, and tried to take stock. George Bush. . .did not." (cut to bombs falling on dusky people). Why would he? It was all a giant BushCo con-job put-up, and he couldn't wait even a second before ditching those lame multiculti brats to go play with his shiny new war.
Some have minimized it, suggesting that Kerry was just answering a question put to him about Bush's minutes in the classroom. It was the questioner that framed the attack; Kerry didn't mention Bush by name. What bullshit.
Here's what Kerry could have said: "I don't wish to second-guess anyone's actions on that fateful, tragic day, now with the benefit of hindsight. I'll leave such divisive attacks to my opponents, because I want to talk about jobs blah blah blah." He could even have gone for a more "Inside Baseball" approach, talking about who he would have called, what he would have asked, how quickly he would have called a special U.N. assembly meeting, whatever. And the press would have fallen all over themselves about how classy he was. It might have been his long-sought "Sister Souljah moment". But he couldn't help himself.
His zinger did get a lot of applause. That's the important thing, I guess.
"My friends, the high road may be harder, but it leads to a better place."
I could go on about this, but I've already gone on too long. This thing shouldn't piss me off.
But it does. And now, I'm going to go clean my rifle.
Ofc. Krupke at 8:51 PM
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02 August 2004
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02 August 2004
Rep. Jim McDermott (D-WA), best remembered for his brief career as a shill for the Hussein regime and his appearance in Fahrenheit 9/11, had some somber words for a gathering of the College Democrats in Boston:
"Everybody in this room who is 17 years old should know that the likelihood of a draft in a second Bush administration is almost a certainty."
In his modesty, Rep. McDermott apparently did not mention that if this does happen, it will largely be because he co-sponsored a bill to restore the draft. In other words, he's sounding the alarm about his own legislation. It's efficient, you have to give him that.
Naturally, of course, this stalwart of the American conscience has only the purest motives for this:
"I believe that if those who are pushing for war knew that their children might be required to share the burden of that war, there might be a greater willingness to work toward peace and a diplomatic solution. If, despite our best efforts, we end up in armed conflict, then fairness dictates that the sons and daughters of all classes participate."
In brief, he wants a giant mass of unwilling conscripts he can use as hostages to leverage his foreign-policy ideas. Dragooned human shields whose bloody shirts he can wave to attack any American war effort.
The military, of course, is not keen on the idea, for understandable reasons. Conscripts serving against their will are disastrous in tight-knit, highly organized military units; they don't pull their weight. Not to mention that a draft term is unlikely to exceed one or two years, which isn't enough time to mold a competent war-fighter. The good ones would just be starting to become useful, and they would be cashiered. U.S. military readiness would suffer drastically as a result.
You don't have to be a surly, cynical conservative to wonder if that isn't McDermott's whole idea.
"Everybody in this room who is 17 years old should know that the likelihood of a draft in a second Bush administration is almost a certainty."
In his modesty, Rep. McDermott apparently did not mention that if this does happen, it will largely be because he co-sponsored a bill to restore the draft. In other words, he's sounding the alarm about his own legislation. It's efficient, you have to give him that.
Naturally, of course, this stalwart of the American conscience has only the purest motives for this:
"I believe that if those who are pushing for war knew that their children might be required to share the burden of that war, there might be a greater willingness to work toward peace and a diplomatic solution. If, despite our best efforts, we end up in armed conflict, then fairness dictates that the sons and daughters of all classes participate."
In brief, he wants a giant mass of unwilling conscripts he can use as hostages to leverage his foreign-policy ideas. Dragooned human shields whose bloody shirts he can wave to attack any American war effort.
The military, of course, is not keen on the idea, for understandable reasons. Conscripts serving against their will are disastrous in tight-knit, highly organized military units; they don't pull their weight. Not to mention that a draft term is unlikely to exceed one or two years, which isn't enough time to mold a competent war-fighter. The good ones would just be starting to become useful, and they would be cashiered. U.S. military readiness would suffer drastically as a result.
You don't have to be a surly, cynical conservative to wonder if that isn't McDermott's whole idea.
Ofc. Krupke at 5:06 PM
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01 August 2004
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01 August 2004
Memo to the Kerry campaign: if you're going to have the Senator talk to any Marines, for God's sake make sure they're vetted first. Maybe they hadn't heard that Kerry served in Vietnam.
Sen. Kerry would later claim the finger was broken when one of his "fucking son-of-a-bitch" Secret Service agents bumped him while exiting the restaurant.
Captions gratefully accepted.
Sen. Kerry would later claim the finger was broken when one of his "fucking son-of-a-bitch" Secret Service agents bumped him while exiting the restaurant.
Captions gratefully accepted.